She Will Multiply

Words to Remember...

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

Summer Classes For Women

Summer Classes for Women

 

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

 

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, Sept 28, 2009

 

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .

 

Class 1

 

Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

 

Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.

 

Class 2

 

Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?Round Table Discussion.

 

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

 

Class 3

 

Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.

 

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

 

Class 4

 

Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

 

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

 

Class 5

 

Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?Examples on Video.

 

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

 

Class 6

 

How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.Help Line Support and Support Groups.

 

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

 

Class 7

 

Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?

 

Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

 

Class 8

 

Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!

 

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

 

Class 9

 

I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.

 

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

 

Class 10

 

How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.Driving Simulations.

 

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

 

Class 11

 

Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.

 

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

 

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 

Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day . . .. and to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor . . .

 

Others, lighten up, it is only a joke! :-)

Remembering 9/11

On Friday, September 11th, 2009, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States.

Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this eighth anniversary of one of our country's worst tragedies.

We do this to honor those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.

In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times and it shouldn't take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds

Hawaii Photos - Oahu

Hawaii Vacation last November...

These photos were taken with one of those $10 underwater jobs. Fujifilm Quick Snap Waterproof 35mm.  I had higher expectations for the underwater photos, but "Hey, you get what you pay for." It was an unforgettable vacation...

My Chemical Romance

Hardware Store told me if Drano wouldn't unclog a pipe, I should try sulfuric acid. Outcome was 2nd and 3rd degree burns to my face.  Needless to say, pipe still clogged.

Fork Love

Just when I thought there wasn't anything else I could possibly do to irritate my wife, I was proven wrong...

"Would you stop that already!", she says. "You look like you are making love to your fork!"

I guess it was possible, but this little habit of mine had never surfaced until now. Maybe it's because I am trying to make a conscience effort to eat less food and eat it slower. After she had brought this to my attention, I recall slowly licking this utensil, attempting to get whatever crumb or drop of sauce that might have been accidentally left behind.

This might be odd, but until I crawl into bed and snuggle up to some day old pizza, I wish to be left alone to love my food in any manner that I see fit.



aFRAYed

So we were headed out the door to go see a play that my son was in. My wife looks at me and says, "You are going to where that?" Thinking to myself, "Why yes, its what I got on." She followed up by saying she wished I would dress up a little when we go out, as I make her feel like she has to always dress down.

I absolutely saw nothing wrong with the G80's (gay-eighties) "Hair Metal Band" frayed jeans I was wearing. I gave in and went and put some shorts on. She says, "Don't you have any nice pants?" I replied, "I can't squeeze into any of them..."

Disclaimer

The opinions expressed here are the views of the writer (which is me - the HUSBAND) and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the other parties involved (that being my WIFE). Any blog entries are subject to change without notice at any time as they may strongly differ from the views of my significant other and might put me into the most undesirable of circumstances.

In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time...I consider this a necessary consequence of having an open mind. Dates, events, situations, the color of my shirt, and actual facts may change as I am anticipating my spouse to read this blog and quickly correct any inconsistencies within any stories that I might have perceived in an incorrect fashion.

This blog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various memes running around my brain, and as such, any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not be the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today.

For Sale

Location, location, location...

Motivational Quote #006

"The slowest guy in the race still beats everyone who didn't run."

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- Unknown

Little Fire * Little Ice

Baby It's Cold Outside